My story...

Travis and I have been married since 1996. We have 4 beautiful children: Madelyn (1998), Jacob (2001), Bryson (2004), and Allyson (2007). I love being a mom and wouldn't change a thing (most of the time!).

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Graduation Day

Last week was Bryson's last day of preschool. Here he is with his teacher Miss Louise.
Bryson had his preschool graduation last Sat. Here he is marching in to pomp and circumstance.
Each class sang a couple of songs for everyone.
His favorite song was Tony Chestnut because it had fun actions to go along with it. (ie. they pointed to their "toe", "knee", "chest", Nut=head) In this picture he's doing the 2nd verse "Ilene Chestnut" - notice the lean.
This was the "Bob-Bob Chestnut" verse - his favorite because he got to hold up his arms and bob his head like a rock star. Too cute!
Here Bryson was giving his teacher "5" before she gave him his "diploma".
Here is Bryson with all 3 of his teachers - Miss Louise, Miss Bri, and Miss Yvonne.
All 3 of my kids have had Miss Louise for preschool. Sadly, they announced at the graduation that she will be retiring. I guess Ally will have to do w/o Miss Louise.
Now that Bryson is done with preschool he's really looking forward to Kindergarten. So much so that he thought he got to start on Monday. He's disappointed to have to wait until next year, but once the other kids get out of school too, I'm sure the wait won't seem so long.

Assemblies, Assemblies, Assemblies

As the school year winds down, my kids have been in a few assemblies to show off what they've been doing at school.
Both Maddy and Jacob had a jump rope assembly a few weeks ago. Jacob was really excited to show that he could do double dutch!
Maddy and her group choreographed their own routine. They did lots of tricks like this one where she is jumping w/ her friend using just her rope.

Maddy also did an assembly for chorus. They were doing an "Around the World" theme and sang songs from many different countries. Maddy is on the right on the bottom row. I tried to put a circle around her so you could see, but it's not very dark.
The kids read lines that told about the people and places they were singing about.
Here's a little bit of the song from New Zealand. She loved practicing with the poi balls. She taught herself how to do them with one hand just by watching someone on the computer. That was her favorite trick.

Maddy also had a 4th grade recorder concert last night. I haven't downloaded the pictures yet, so I'll post those later.

Fun stuff, but we're glad that summer is almost here!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Empty well

Do you ever feel like you're nothing more than a pair of hands?

Hands that:
wake the kids up in the morning,
fix breakfast,
make school lunches,
fix girls' hair,
fill up water bottles,
drive to preschool and sign in,
push the grocery cart and load it up w/ food,
put all the groceries away at home,
sign out of preschool and drive home,
fix lunches,
change diapers,
get out crayons and coloring books - put them away,
get out play dough - put it away,
flush toilets all day,
carry toddler upstairs and put her down for a nap,
vacuum and mop the floors, wipe the table and counters, clean the bathrooms, do the laundry, pick up toys, etc.,
refill drinks and snacks all day,
drive to various activities,
fix dinner,
tuck kids into bed,
etc.

Sometimes I think that if I disappeared and was nothing more than a pair of hands no one would even notice. I know it's not really true, but it sure feels like it sometimes.

Sorry this is such a downer of a post. I just needed to get it off my chest. I guess I just kind of feel swallowed up by day to day to life. It's not even that I don't like it. I'm so grateful to get to be the one who does all these things for my family and I love them more than I could ever express. I think I've just lost sight of who I am separate from my life as wife and mom and feel very inadequate as mom. There's always so much to do - much more than I can ever get done. I want to have a clean and organized house and can't seem to keep it that way. I want to be a patient mother, but inevitably loose my cool at some point in the day and have to apologize. I want to be the one my family can depend on and lean on, but I don't feel very strong. I want to be fun and someone my family loves to be around, but don't feel that way right now.

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I know we all feel down at times. I'm just having a hard time pulling myself out of this rut. I guess I just need to keep trying and be more forgiving of my shortcomings and just try to focus on all the wonderful blessings I have. I just read "Daughters of God" by Elder Ballard from the April 2008 Gen. Conf. There are two things I from his talk that I know I can and should work on. 1) Live more in the moment and enjoy the moments more w/o worrying about the next thing that needs to get done. 2) Find time to cultivate my gifts and talents. Elder Ballard says that "water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even your children". I think this is my biggest problem at the moment - I've let my well run dry. The problem with having an empty well is that I've forgotten how to fill it up. Thankfully, Elder Ballard gave the advice that I needed, "Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it."

I have a friend who puts three things she is grateful for at the end of each post she does. I think I'd like to start that too - so here goes:

1. "big hugs" and kisses from my kids, 2. a family who is patient with me, 3. the gospel to guide me and to help give me an eternal perspective.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Bryson's special day

Last year Travis took all the kids out to have a "special day". We decided to keep doing this and to have him do even years and me do odd years.
Bryson decided that he wanted to see Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D for his special day, so on Sat. we had a date. He was sooooo cute. Once I told him it was a date, he got all dressed up and wanted me to wear a skirt too. Here we are before we left.
Bryson LOVED the movie and thought that seeing it in 3D was awesome! He ate almost a whole a bucket of pop corn, which was special becuase we rarely go to the movies, let alone get treats!
After the movie, we got slushy drinks and got a pizza to eat in the park.
Bryson wanted to show off some of the fun things he does at the park when his school class goes there.

Our community was also having a concert in the park, so there was some extra entertainment - including a balloon lady. Bryson is posing with his new tiger after a FUN date!
What a fun day!